Monday, April 15, 2013

Short Story


The Words of the King:
On the Cause of Thunder and the Smells of Mortality


“It’s a strange country, this being old.”
–Frederick Turner

“If you’re going to write about madness maybe you should be a little mad yourself.”
–Michael Sexson


     “You speak the words, but I know what they mean. Don’t try to tell me I speak them incorrectly, you goddamn footstool.”
     “Okay, dad.” The young man sighed and turned back to the book in his hand.
     The old man felt an insane smile spread on his face and his son felt it pestering the side of his own. “Why are you here?”
     The boy answered without looking up from his book, “Because I want to see you.”
      “You come in my room—this sanctuary you have locked me in—and you open your slim books and you read in your own head. Why are you here?”
      “What would you like me to say?” The boy, as though it were such a great inconvenience, closed his book, one finger still holding his page, and crossed his arms against his knee, leaning toward his father.
     The old man erupted. Laughter sprawled out of his mind and it stole all the air from the cramped room. Through the rolls of thunder, he spoke, sputtering but strong, “The Ham and the King are the same.” The boy looked puzzled, angrily, hating his inability to explain his father away with madness. The man stopped laughing: cut off as with a sword. His pointing finger cut the air and smacked his boy in the face without ever touching him. “And you, boy, you smell of mortality.” The boy, for the first time, allowed concern to show in his eyes. “Why are you here?”
     “Do you want me to leave, dad?”
     The old man sat back in his stark bed and nodded solemnly, as though to himself. His eyes gazed far afield. “So it goes with God.”
     The man barely noticed as his son conspicuously collected his items. The man was no longer present in the room; he was in another state entirely, and many years in the past. Noticing this blankness in his father’s demeanor, the boy hesitated for a moment just on the threshold. He looked over his shoulder, hand on the doorknob; his brows furrowed as he shook his head and closed the door behind his disappearing form.

     Sun streamed through an open window and fell onto a glowing tabletop; the light reflected from the glass and lit up the already beaming face of a young woman. She chuckled at something I said. In a moment that felt like an hour she blinked, reveling in the humor, and looked up from the table—right at me. She looked up only with her eyes, her face tilted only slightly in my direction. And then it was over and she was just smiling at the tabletop again. The sun matched the color, but was seemingly more dull than, her hair. It couldn’t touch the strands, but painted a halo about her head. Then I heard my own voice—stronger and more resolute then—say, “I have to leave for work soon.”
     She kept her eyes on the table—I think she had papers laid out there. “I know you’ll have a wonderful day, Sweetheart.”
     Why didn’t I tell her I loved her? I should have, right in that moment; I should have let her know in every single breathing moment, but I waited until later, right before I stepped out the door. And she smiled, everywhere. She smiled in her eyes, in her laugh, in her cheeks, and she said, “I love you too,” and she kissed me ever so slightly on my lips. I went to work.

     “Hello, Mr. Leon! How was your visit with your son?”
     Sun streamed through the open window and fell onto a stark bed sheet—too crisp and too white. “Close the blinds, will you?”
     The nurse kept her smile plastered to her face, and sauntered toward the window. “Of course, Mr. Leon. Would you like to eat something? It’s noon.” She turned from the window to see the old man’s eyes gazing far afield. She shook her head slowly and crossed the threshold, leaving the man alone. In the hallway her voice broke through the door, “That man is losing it, Sharon.”
     Inside, the old man laughed. He stretched his hand off the ledge of the bed and clasped the air. “She thinks I’m crazy, Honey.” The woman with glowing hair smiled back at him. Letting her hand be surrounded by her husband’s, she lifted his fingers to her mouth and kissed them. “She smells of mortality.” The woman nodded. “They act for me, Elisa. The nurse comes in and she plasters that smile on her face and she squeaks at me, but I can hear her offstage. She’s a bad actor.” The woman nodded, grinning amusedly from her glowing eyes. “And my boy, he comes in this spick and span room and he sits there and he smirks at me. He pretends this doesn’t hurt.” He growled. “It hurts him.”
     The woman’s eyebrow rose, tears behind her eyes. “Do you want to hurt him?”
     The old man settled into his white pillows, grumbling tiredly. “No.” The woman patted his hand, his voice turned soft, “I don’t want him to hurt.” He tore his eyes from the woman and turned them to space.
     She spoke just barely. “You just don’t want to die.”
     His eyes were still directed toward space. “Readiness is all, Dear.”
     “Ripeness.”
     He smiled, uncontrollably.
     A minute cough sounded in the hallway. The man cocked his head as if to listen better. “Did you hear a cough?” There was a matching, tiny knock at the door; it opened, stage right. In shuffled a small—only for her slouching—young woman, radiant even through her shyness. The man sat up, face filled with light. “Ah, my nothing!”
     She smiled and entered the room wholeheartedly, “Because nothing is everything.”
     The man nodded. “Would you close the door behind you, please?”
     Having already journeyed toward her father, the young woman turned back, placed a soft hand to the white wood of the door and pushed it shut. “The nurse says you’re zoning out more often. She thinks you’re losing it.” She spoke almost mockingly, but still with a small voice.
     The man spread his arms, cocked his head, and grinned. “Why that’s because I have lost it; I’ve gone mad, Honeybee.” He leaned forward and whispered, “I’m crazy.”
     Shrugging off his torments she grabbed a book couched on the stiff armchair in the corner of the room—shoved as far into the corner as possible, the chair was a bright teal contrasting the white walls wondrously. She tossed the book toward the bed. It wafted through the air, “Yeah, you seem far out of your wits,” and landed in his lap.
     He lifted his decrepit copy of Hamlet. “The mad ones are the only ones who can really read. You must know that.”
     “Whatever you say, Hammy—if you ask me, you’re putting on an act: all the world wouldn’t you say?” She walked toward his bed and sat in the empty chair waiting for her.
     A shuttering whisper (an image of golden hair) boxed his ear, “Do you love her?” His smile faltered and for a moment he felt cold, alone.
     A knock at the door and a nurse peeked in, “How are you in here?”
     The young woman, eyes locked on her father responded immediately, “Stark-raving.”
     The nurse pushed further into the room, “Ma’am?”
     The young woman laughed, looked over her shoulder at this stranger and spoke, “We’re fine, thank you.” The nurse plastered a plastic smile on her face and left, shutting the door behind her.

     My car pulled into the driveway just after the sun went down; the sky was still lit, but it glowed from every heavenly square rather from the one celestial body. Elisa looked most beautiful in this light; I pictured her as I sat in my frozen car. Only after I stepped from the metal frame did I realize it was raining; it might not have actually been raining, but in my memory it was indeed pouring. I ran into the house without realizing just how dark and still it was. It was dead: no dinner, no light, no noise. Then the telephone rang, and I don’t remember much afterward.
     “What are you doing here, Stephen?”
     The man spun about in the dark; he felt his body grow old again, no longer the spritely youth of his memory. He stared in shock at the golden-haired woman lounging in the love seat below the now ominously glowing window. He stared from his stooped and weakened form. “You weren’t here, Elisa; I know you weren’t.”
     “Stop it, Stephen.”
     “Why are you angry, Elisa?” The man’s voice shook.
     “I want to know why you’re here. There is nothing here.” Her eyes locked on him from across the room, until they were suddenly right in front of him; they seemed to have grown three sizes and the force pushed him back. “There is nothing here.”
     “I didn’t mean to come here; I just—“
     “You just wandered off? You couldn’t control it? Maybe you really are going mad.”
     “It’s the mad one—“
     “It’s the mad ones who understand the world.” Her voice squealed in mockery, cutting off the smaller voice of her past love. “You want to know why I’m angry, Stephen?” Her question was contemptuously soft and low, a delicate whisper. He didn’t nod, too frightened to move, but curiosity—and concern—showed in his face no matter how he tried to stifle it. “I’m mad because you have a family and I don’t.” She wandered about the dark room slowly, eyes stuck to the old man all the way. Her fingertips grazed each piece of furniture as she passed it. “But that in itself doesn’t pester me so. I hate that you hate them: all but the one, your precious, little nothing.”
     “Go away.”
     Her laugh galloped through the house until she suddenly cut it off; her eyes blazed. “You get out; this place is mine. You moved on and left nothing.”
     “You’re not mad, Elisa, you’re insane; you don’t understand.”
     “I don’t understand nothing? I am nothing, Stephen.” She sauntered toward the old man until they stood nose to nose. “I don’t exist.”

     “Dad?” The young woman nudged her father. “Dad, wake up.” The old man’s eyes fluttered open to find again the stark, frozen room. Then they landed on his daughter. “You fell asleep on me.” She chuckled and pushed his shoulder playfully, a slight nervousness behind her eyes.
     The old man smiled. “I have nothing here, Honeybee.”
     His daughter pulled her chair closer to his bed. “No, Hammy, nothing is here.” She touched a finger to her father’s forehead. “And here.” And again to his chest.
     He laughed softly, a rumbling deep in his lungs. “No one here understands, but you.”
     “You were born to the wrong period.” Laughter leaked through her voice.
     At this, his own mirth boiled out of him wholeheartedly. “No I wasn’t, Dear. I was born to study the words, not to live in them.”
     His daughter leaned in to his scruffy ear. “You’re mad.”
     He put his lips to her ear in turn and whispered, “I know.”

     It was late, or early; death tends to muddle time. The old man was alone in his now silver room; he had asked earlier for his blinds to be opened to their greatest extent so as to allow the moonlight free reign. He was doused in it. There was no son with him, no daughter, no golden haired ghost. He had nothing, and then he passed only further into it. It was not violent, or showy and dramatic in any way: he simply allowed the nothingness to finally overcome his mind. When his heart stopped beating, no one could ever determine for sure, but it was not in that initial instant. He felt nothing for whole moments; he was conscious in nothing—a sensation allowed only to those on the cusp of a dream. And then he fell into the grandest dream of all.
     On the bedside table, moonlight illuminated a shining scrap of paper. On this, one sentence was scrawled.

I hope one day you can go mad, Honeybee, and understand the world; I have full faith in you.

     And no one ever understood what it meant: except for the one, his nothing. 

Explication, Discussing the King


Discussing “The Words of the King”
An Explication

     Before explaining my personal interpretations of “The Words of the King” and what ideas I attempted to portray I would like first to say that this story was an experiment. I wished to write a paper discussing Shakespeare, but could not narrow down my topic. I obsessed over too many themes and details present in A Midsummer Night’s Dream, Hamlet, King Lear, and The Tempest. I wanted to discuss moonlight versus sunlight, madness, old age, nothingness, but it couldn’t be done in just one paper. So instead, I chose to write a short story that encompassed all of these themes and motifs. This form doesn’t allow for much assertion, but it does require an important understanding; if one doesn’t fully comprehend the meaning and purpose behind a motif, it cannot be used in turn to much fruition. The following explication of my intended purpose is not, obviously, the definitive interpretation; it is simply mine. Feel free to find, in “The Words of the King,” whatever you wish to see.

     From the beginning there are a few obvious allusions to works of Shakespeare. The subtitle, “On the Cause of Thunder and the Smells of Mortality,” was formed from two lines in King Lear that I found most striking. In Act 3, Scene 4 in the midst of a wondrous and devastating storm (and plenty of thunder) Lear speaks only directly to Edgar as Poor Tom, at times completely ignoring Gloucester; nearly every time Lear speaks he asks a question or wishes to ask a question. He poses, “Is it the fashion that discarded fathers / Should have thus little mercy on their flesh?” “Is man no more than this?” and eventually, “What is the cause of thunder?” To this last, Lear receives no answer. In “The Words of the King” I sought to find the cause of thunder. Now read again the following excerpt: “The old man erupted. Laughter sprawled out of his mind and it stole all the air from the cramped room. Through the rolls of thunder, he spoke, sputtering but strong, ‘The Ham and the King are the same.’” In this, I hoped to convey that the thunder, or the whole storm itself, served to allow, or force, man into realization. The storm brings understanding; in “The Words of the King” the thunder was represented by insane peals of laughter to develop the idea of the storm as madness. Therefore, true wisdom and enlightenment are found in madness, a theme prominent throughout Shakespeare’s works.
     The subject of true wisdom, then, brings us to the second part of the subtitle, “the Smells of Mortality.” In King Lear this phrase is fleeting; Gloucester asks to kiss Lear’s hand and Lear says “Let me wipe it first; it smells of mortality” (Act 4, Scene 6). Here, he speaks of his own flesh as literally mortal, but he is disgusted by it. Hamlet feels the same in Act 5, Scene 1 as he reminisces about poor Yorick, the court jester and holds his skull. This is where the theme truly shows its truth: as if the later King Lear were an echo. Hamlet holds Yorick’s skull and says, “My gorge rises at it;” his memories of his old friend’s jests are tainted and disgusting; the image of mortality taints the wisdom of foolishness. These two moments together, form the idea of true wisdom as immortal. In “The Words of the King” Stephen Leon (the old man) uses Lear’s phrase twice: once to describe his son and again to describe the nurse. In both these instances he decries the two in a way that suggests he himself does not smell of mortality, even so on the brink of mortal death. However, he is the wisest of all the characters; it his wisdom that is immortal. Stephen’s wisdom lasts his body in the form of his note to his daughter. Ultimately, the two ideas present in the subtitle of “The Words of the King” claim that true wisdom is madness and that madness is immortal.
     The Shakespearean theme pertaining to the meaning of “nothing,” I think, was made clear in “The Words of the King,” if only to say that there are two different kinds of nothingness: empty, purposeless nothing and infinite, creative nothing. The first time we hear Stephen speak of nothing is when his daughter walks in and he calls her—instead of my everything—“my nothing.” This use of the word is much like that in Theseus’ speech in Act 5, Scene 1 of A Midsummer Night’s Dream, “The poet’s pen / Turns them to shapes and gives to airy nothing / A local habitation and a name.” This use of the word is an example of the infinite, poetic, creative nothing. Later on in “The Words of the King,” Elisa tells Stephen to leave their house of his memory, “There is nothing here.” This instance is a static one, for it could mean either nothing, depending on how one reads it. Elisa could be claiming there is literally nothing useful, only emptiness in Stephen’s memories; she could be saying there is infinite nothing and the infinite nothing is no place for Stephen’s morose remembrance to abide. This all depends on the reader’s opinion of Elisa, but thinking on her earlier conversation with Mr. Leon (His eyes were still directed toward space. “Readiness is all, Dear.” / “Ripeness.”) and its echo later on from the definite wise daughter, it seems Elisa could easily be considered a wise character; her nothing could very well be the creative. The final and most important use of the word nothing is used in the last scene, the scene in which Stephen dies. “He simply allowed the nothingness to finally overcome his mind.” I was extremely careful with the wording of this sentence, because I wished it to be the culmination of the whole “nothing” idea and I wanted it to match that of Shakespeare. The key, here, is that the nothingness did not envelop his body; it enveloped his mind, because that is where true infinite nothing—as well as madness—comes from. The final sentence, “And no one ever understood what it meant: except for the one, his nothing,” most obviously speaks to his wise daughter. Yes, but it also speaks further to the idea that madness can only be understood in nothingness. This, ultimately, is what Shakespeare strove to teach us.
     Perhaps the most easily understood and the most archetypal motif in “The Words of the King” is the idea of sunlight versus moonlight. In A Midsummer Night’s Dream moonlight is used most prominently to embody magic and illusion; sunlight, in turn, represents blatant reality. Remember though, that Hamlet learned the truth about his father by moonlight, speaking once again to Shakespeare’s idea that magic and illusion are true reality. Therefore, sunlight would have to be the foolish fool’s (i.e. Polonius) reality, not the absolute. To speak to this in “The Words of the King,” Stephen asked the nurse to close the blinds in order to shut out the sunlight; the sunlight that lit up Elisa and made her so beautiful, was reflected and skewed by the glass table so it was not true; Stephen claimed later that Elisa was most beautiful in the twilight; and finally, he died and entered nothingness while bathed in moonlight. Moonlight, magic, dreams, and nothingness are where true beauty lies, where absolute truth can be found.
     If I had to label my story—a tragedy, a comedy, a romance—I don’t know that I really could. Before I started, I wanted to make a combination genre to exemplify the presence in Shakespeare’s works of tragedy in comedy and comedy in tragedy. I suppose by writing a genre-less story, I have accomplished that, but in the end, my story was written primarily on instinct. That’s how writing is done; a writer may have a goal at the start, but I can guarantee that in every good work, that goal will change into something else—usually more real—by the end. Knowing this, I can respect Shakespeare ever more, because he built his writing on beautiful ideas and imaginings that he must have already had in his mind. While I agree with Stephen Leon’s claim, “‘I was born to study the words, not to live in them,’” I do think it would be absolutely wonderful to speak to the man who held all of these ideas in his mind on the instinctual base. Shakespeare functioned with a mind full of nothing, and gave it to us in poetics.

Friday, April 12, 2013

The High and the Low

     I just finished reading Life of Pi for the third time. For simplicity's sake, Yann Martel tells a story about a boy lost at sea with a tiger in a life boat. Every time I read it different lines strike me - so it goes, I guess, with any story. In this reading I found an excerpt that I would like to share.
"High calls low and low calls high. I tell you, if you were in such dire straits as I was, you too would elevate your thoughts. The lower you are, the higher your mind will want to soar."
     Obviously, you will see the connection I'm meaning to make here. I read this short passage and was halted at its unbelievable connection to one of the most prominent themes we've discussed this semester. There is a further connection, though, that this allows me to realize only after writing my final project. The quickest connection between the high and the low is madness. In madness, or wise-foolishness as Euterpe so deemed it, a supreme understanding is found; in her presentation, Euterpe used Puck as an example, "the only one who understands dreams." In the moment cited above, Pi is delirious, driven mad by his experiences at sea: and he finds clarity and sanctuary.
     It is an epiphany I am, perhaps, quite late in seeing, but it's one of the most important, I think. Shakespeare uses madness as the highest form of wisdom in every play we've read this semester; he especially uses the "sane" character's labeling and ignorance of the madness as a tool to show the high's being blind to real wisdom. The low are high only because they are mad.

Frederick Turner and Infinite Nothing

     When Frederick Turner drew in class the diagram of All (the known world) and Nothing (the unknown) he drew from the cusp of the All circle a figure eight that circled back into All and out into Nothing. This served to represent the journey of the poet who is blazing a trail into the world of "airy nothings," but needs still to remain in "local habitation." He pointed out as he drew it, "It's a sort of figure eight movement." What he did not point out (but I assume he noticed) is that this shape represents infinity. I thought that was most interesting. It seems, eventually, that science must end; one day, it should strictly define all the known world, right? Isn't that the point? Turner said, "The poet goes to the edge of the world to understand 'nothing.'" The poet infinitely pushes to the edge of definitive-ness and defines even more. The poet's journey is infinite. Turner drew this without even initially realizing it's true importance for me, and again, I thank him for his contribution.

Frederick Turner and Old Age

     There are quite a few thoughts I have been meaning to get up here, but just never did. The time is ripe for it, I think. I don't want to smash all of these separate ideas into one post, so consider the next three or four pieces belated responses to the last couple weeks.
   
     At his poetry reading Frederick Turner said something, almost as an aside, that struck me; it seemed so important at the time that I scrawled it on my ticket, and I don't even remember the context now. He said, "It's a strange country, this being old." And that's a beautiful image, isn't it? I immediately thought of all the older characters in the works we have read this semester and how they function, how their age factors in. Probably quite obviously, King Lear stuck to the forefront of my mind, and it was King Lear who most inspired the short story I wrote for my final project. In his old age, he searches for assurance: assurance of his daughter's love, yes, but also of his entire purpose, his manhood. The scene I most obsess over in the explication of my short story (titled, I might add, "The Words of the King") is Act 3, Scene 4 with Lear and Edgar lost in the tempest. In this scene every single time Lear speaks - excepting four short instances - he either asks a question or wishes to ask a question. It's as if only in the midst of a great storm (the real physical representing his mental state) does Lear realize all of these questions he holds unanswered. Only in the midst of a great storm does he realize he doesn't, in fact, know everything he wishes to know. His old age acts as a shove - a desperate indicator that he has so little time to learn. He ignores Gloucester and the other men attempting to "save" him from the storm, berating Edgar, "[his] philosopher," in hopes to obtain the answers he's so desperate for as quickly as he can.
     Without Turner's fleeting comment, I could not have written the short story that I did, and I thank him.

Monday, March 25, 2013

I did it.

I finally wrote a sonnet.

Sonnet 4
I was never supposed to fall in love.
Forever, I thought, I'd cower and run.
Forever, I thought, I'd look down on above,
But I got it in the end; love's won.
I've read all these books, and I know all this
Language not to be used 'round you. Bespoken
Cannot explain or tell truth. Gone amiss
Are the days I knew my true emotion.
You speak to me numbers not in my thought.
That's why I need you; you know what I don't;
You say what I can't; you are what I'm not.
Lacking courage to say the words, I won't.
I cannot speak it, so I'll sing my love.
Come fly with me to see worlds from above.


I'll send it in the mail presently, and hopefully I'll have an entertaining story to share later.

Wednesday, March 6, 2013

Sisyphus

     Still trying to write a sonnet - still not working. For this one, Bob Dylan and Hamlet served as inspiration.

Sonnet 3
Oh jingle jangle morning, disappear
Silhouette by the sea. I know of days
When in just one small moment you will fear,
And you will leave in applause of a praise.
Appraisal and reprisal please. Just sway.
For on what Earth, no matter, matter's not.
You, driven mad oh bawdy bodkin. Stay.
Just leave the love you desperately sought.
Just join me in a jingle jangle morn.
Forget about today 'til our morrow;
Leave behind sunken swelling horror sworn.
Just join with me, and sing it all in sorrow.
And in the jingle jangle morning sing your song.
And in the jingle jangle mourn. Get along.